8 things no-one told you....

I promise I'll give a vacation recap shortly - I just have to recover and get back in the swing of things first!

In the meantime, here is a great article from CNN.com on 8 Things No One Tells You about being a Mom:

8 things no one tells you about being a mom
By Paula Spencer

Babies are adorable! There's nothing like the love surge of a full-body hug or the amazed pride you feel when your toddler takes his first steps!

For moms accustomed to completing projects and advancing careers, the grind of caregiving can be a shock.

Enough about the bright side. We do moms a disservice if we only gush about the countless truly terrific aspects of raising a child and neglect to mention the, well, harsher realities. It's useful to know that there are not-so-hot sides of the job, if only to take the edge off those inevitable pains of feeling exasperated, unnerved, or just surprised. And it's reassuring to know you're not the only one to admit a downside even exists. This is my list -- you'll probably have one, too.

There is no learning curve

Rather, if you graphed it, it would just go up and up. By the time you master colic, it's over. All your smug expertise at changing diapers on an upright toddler becomes obsolete when she graduates to big-kid underwear. Net result: You never feel quite on top of things.

And although the firstborn breaks you in for the next, Number Two is usually so different in temperament, taste, or developmental pacing that what you learned the first time often doesn't work or apply. My oldest, Henry, would respond only to the loudest of shouts and severest of threats. But when I tried my hard-learned disciplinary tactics on next-in-line Eleanor, the slightest raised voice would make her quiver and tear up. Parenting.com: Mom milestones

Silver lining: A good mental workout. I've learned a lot about human behavior that I might not otherwise have -- plus a lot about kids' music and books, the art of bandage application, and how to make dinner really fast.

You run in circles

"The minute you get one thing solved, there's something else to do," says Janine Saber of Orinda, California, about the unending rounds of feeding, diapering, and bedtime that punctuate life with young children. For moms accustomed to completing projects and advancing careers, the chronic spin cycle of caretaking can feel frustrating and mind-numbing.

If you have more than one child, the circles begin to overlap. "It's like multitasking-plus," says Saber. "I can't tell you how many times I've forgotten to feed the baby cereal along with her morning formula because my 6-year-old was late for school." Parenting.com: 6 secrets of happy moms

Silver lining: "Once you realize you have no control, you're in total control," Saber says. "Then you can say, 'OK, I'll just go with the flow.'"

You'll feel helpless sometimes

You're ready and willing to do anything in the world to make your child safe and happy. But even at the playground and at home, circumstances will unfold beyond your direct control. "It hurt to see one of my kids being teased or excluded at playgroup," says Ann Douglas, a mom of four in Peterborough, Ontario, and the author of "The Mother of All Parenting Books." When two of her kids were being bullied at school, she kept wondering if there was more she could do to help her kids deal, she says.

Silver lining: Because it's your child, you'll be amazed at how you can come up with a solution -- or find a friend who's gone through something similar. Douglas made an effort to talk more with the school's teachers; once they were put on alert about her kids' problems, she had a better sense of how they were getting through the day.

You don't get instant replays

You will say the wrong thing. You will do the wrong thing. This is true of life in general, of course. But with a child it's especially tough because you're making so many split-second decisions in any given hour -- and the repercussions of those decisions are helping to form a growing psyche!

I felt sure my daughter Margaret, then 3, would hate me forever when she asked if she could watch "Star Wars" with her brother again and I barked, "No! Time for bed! You've watched too much TV and maybe we should get rid of that TV!" On and on -- transferring a work-related anger to a small, innocent bystander. (Seven years later, I'm pretty sure she loves me still...and we still have a TV.) Parenting.com: Will you be a good mother?

Silver lining: Losing your cool can be a gentle reminder to count to ten before you speak the next time. But it's also humanizing. A few missteps won't scar your child. So apologize if it's appropriate and move on, because your child will.

There's no privacy

"I was in the bathroom when my then 6-year-old looked at the string dangling from my so-called private parts and said, 'Mommy, I think you sat in some gum,'" says Kristine Breese, a Los Angeles mother of two who wrote Cereal for Dinner. "When you become a mom, you can't even put a tampon in without being interrupted."

Silver lining: Your kids can learn patience, self-sufficiency, and the meaning of privacy -- if you set boundaries. "At a certain point, you start locking the bathroom or saying something to stop your child from barging in," Breese says. "This represents a huge step forward as you realize that being at their constant disposal is not really what your kids need."

Your baby will eventually insult you
Indulge in a nice-mommy whim and make a special chocolate-chip face on a toddler's pancake, and you're liable to be met with indignant howls. ("That's not how a pancake looks!") One minute you're the best thing since ice pops and the next, mud. And the mercurial moods of a growing child mean you never know which will happen when.

Silver lining: Repeated verbal stabs make you more immune to them. Unless it's clearly intentional antisocial rudeness (rare before the school years), blame child development and don't take anything personally. Two-year-olds, for instance, are notoriously resistant to change because they're trying hard to figure out the world and once they've "got" a concept down (pancakes don't have faces), it's disorienting to have their expectations foiled. Parenting.com: 8 things grandparents wish you knew

You have to force yourself to back off

If, like me, you're a Type A control freak (or were in your pre-kids life, until they leeched it out of you), it's a constant internal struggle not to step in and finish the puzzle, Velcro-shut the sneaker yourself, or issue reminders every 10 seconds about what your child should do, say, or remember.

Silver lining: The more you incrementally step back, the more self-sufficient they become, which is how it's supposed to be. Kids need to do many things on their own -- and feelings of accomplishment are as mentally healthy for them as they are practical. One morning I watched my 5-year-old laboriously try and try again as my hurry-meter clanged inside me. But you know what? I refrained from butting in as long as she was calm and focused -- and she did it! Her pride was far more valuable than my hectoring would have been.

You won't know if you've done a good job for, oh, 20 or 30 years

Every decision you make -- from discipline to extracurricular activities -- has repercussions, though usually not as momentous as you may think. You can have a pretty good inkling of how things are going, but you won't really know what sort of person you've helped to create until your child is fully grown.

Silver lining: That's the marvelous mystery of parenting. So much time, money, hope, and love poured into one tiny creature -- but I can't think of a better use for those resources

Calm before the storm

We had a pretty low-key weekend. We spent our time swimming, having BBQ's and attending birthday parties. This week we're pretty much laying low while we get ready for our (gasp!) vacation next week.

We haven't told the boys about the trip to Niagara Falls / Marineland (one can only imagine the questions that that will bring up!). But, we have told them about the trip to Nanna and Nannu's house. For Aidan, the most exciting thing about this trip is that we'll be driving down (in the new van) with Kenneth and his family. He is soooooo..... excited that he's going to be sitting in the very back with Keiran, and that they'll get to watch movies, and that there is a plug in the back for the DVD player (only in the mind of a four year old would these things be exciting!). It should prove to be an interesting trip!!

Whas dat Mummy?

Quinn, God love him, has reached the stage of perpetual questions. Our days are filled with:

"Whas dat Mummy?"
"What doin' Mummy?"
"Why Mummy?"

As sweet and endearing as it is to hear this cute little voice asking questions, the CONSTANT barrage of them is starting to drive us a little loopy. We can't just ignore him, because then he just keeps asking and asking until you finally give in and respond.

Serenity now!!!

No Quinn!

Aidan has reached the stage where occasionally he requires 'privacy' in his room. Which basically means he doesn't want his brother playing with his toys! So, to facilitate this, Aidan created a sign for Quinn:


Let it be known that I did not help him in any way, shape or form with the sign. He wrote the word 'no' because (according to him) he has seen it on signs so he knows what the word 'no' looks like. Then he proceeded to write Quinn's name with an 'x' through it (again, he's seen it on signs that when there is an 'x' through something it means you can't do it). Next he drew a picture of Quinn (that vague body-like thing) next to a picture of his door - which has his name on it. He takes this sign very seriously.... too bad Quinn has no clue what it means!!

In other news, we had a fairly low-key long-weekend. We mostly relaxed, hit the beach and puttered around the house. Our big adventure was yesterday.

We had a torrential downpour for about 45 minutes or so. When it rains hard here, our street floods. Well, yesterday was garbage day so our garbage can was out by the curb. Can you see where I'm going with this?

The boys and I were standing in the front doorway watching the rain and the flood, when a car drove by, the water rose-up, and knocked our fully-loaded garbage can over. Our can then opened, and our garbage bags proceeded to float down the street. So, I quickly donned my flip-flops and rain coat and ran out into the street to recover the floating garbage. Nothing like walking around in pouring rain and 8 inch rain water to get your morning going!!! The boys thought it was very exciting though.....

Aidan could have written this!

From "The Onion":

Adults Have Misclassified Me As A Handful

By Timmy Johnson
July 25, 2007 | Issue 43•30

Adults Have Misclassified Me As A Handful
Copy and paste this code into a new post in Blogger, MySpace, or any other blog tool. It will display this Onion headline, picture, and teaser copy on your page, depending on what you select above.

Clearly, a mistake has been made. For whatever reason, I have been singled out and wrongly characterized by the adult world as a "real handful." In fact, nothing could be further from the truth.

I concede that I am something of a live wire. Given to the occasional outburst of what might in all fairness be called hyperactivity, especially in cases involving high sugar intake—of course. But the "handful" classification is problematic at best, a gross exaggeration at worst.

Am I a child who is sometimes difficult? Yes. Am I a difficult child? No. The distinction is more than semantic.

Once you get a reputation for being a handful, everything you do is automatically cast in a negative light. Suspicious glances meet you every time you even think about touching the frame of your younger sister's playpen, and God forbid you come within five feet of a houseplant. You have, in effect, already been accused, tried, and sentenced for actions you have not even taken. From then on, anything you do is retroactively construed as "problem behavior."

Knowingly or unknowingly, adults create a set of expectations that a 4-year-old like me can't help but internalize on some level. After enough humiliating time-outs, those who are treated as handfuls start thinking of themselves as such.

Admittedly, my attention span is short, and at times I am easily distracted by colorful and/or animal-shaped stimuli in my immediate environment. But I cannot stress enough the importance of early-childhood self-image formation. (I believe Thomas the Tank Engine has explored this subject in some detail—I'd cite the specific episode but unfortunately I don't have it in front of me at the moment.)

A label like "handful"—nothing more than a social construct—can take years to shake off. It could very well haunt me until I'm 6, even 7 years old. And by that time, it probably will have led to something even worse. Today it may be "handful," but how long before you are being called a wisenheimer, or even worse, a Buster Brown?

Now, allow me to preempt a predictable yet fallacious argument from my detractors: that by complaining, I am being a big crybaby-face. I understand the impulse to render my argument moot by resorting to ad hominem attacks, but again, it is an unfair assessment of my character. I have never been one to engage in manipulative grandstanding, and I have no patience for those who use whining, balled-up fists, or stomping on the floor as measures by which to flout adult authority. On the contrary, I stand by my previous assertion that I have a legitimate grievance to air, and, while my tummy does indeed ache, this is a much more serious ill.

It is the "terrible twos" all over again. A whole year boiled down to being "terrible," despite many notable achievements during those 12 months. I made huge strides in shape recognition and speech acquisition. Plus, need I remind you, I learned to walk while carrying a stuffed animal in my hands.

Further evidence of selective memory on the subject of my conduct can be seen in the failure to recognize and praise my more recent achievements. I've managed to start putting away my blocks more than 50 percent of the time. I can almost tie my shoes; true, I cannot loop yet, but have perfected the first phase. Plus, I can now button my shirt. And yet, in that specific instance, more attention was paid to the fact that I might not have gotten my shirttails exactly even than to the fact that I had made a breakthrough in the much more challenging arena of button-fastening.

Not unlike the proverbial infant strapped into a bouncy-bouncy chair, I am at the mercy of the adult world's judgment, a world in which any protest on my part is met with the suggestion that maybe somebody needs a nap. As if a few minutes of lie-down sleepy-time could even begin to solve a problem this systemic and pervasive!

How so-called "grown-ups" could resort to such base stereotyping in their supposedly advanced thinking is beyond my comprehension. So I beg you, as mature big people, to reconsider this damaging opinion which has caused far too much pain already. Thank you, bye-bye, and have a good day. Editorial all gone!