Either way, he repeatedly said: "Next time I see a White Castle, we're going to buy some Sliders."
SLIDERS. Right there should be the warning. Alarms should be sounding, lights should be flashing, and steel bars should be dropping from the ceiling. I mean seriously. No good can ever come from ingesting something that is actually called a "Slider".
But Chris is a stubborn man, and no amount of convincing, cajoling, and downright arguing could make him change his mind. So when were in Cincinnati over Easter, he made the call. "Today, we're going to White Castle." I should have started lining my stomach with Pepto Bismol right then and there.
We went through the drive through and stared blankly at the menu. "I think we should get a twenty pack." Chris suggested. Again - it CAN'T be good when
We placed the order and then drove up to the window. The minute Chris rolled down his window to pay, we smelt this..... smell. It was a mixture of onions, raw meat, and human hair. (Seriously, grab some ground chuck and onions, smear it on your hair and smell - voila! An exact replica of the White Castle scent) Apparently, it's the steamed 'beef' that gives White Castle such a distinct 'odour'. When they passed us the bag of Sliders the smell instantly permeated the car.
Quinn (aka Mr. nose more sensitive than a bloodhound) immediately wrinkled his nose in disgust and said: "Mummy, what stinks?"
We drove home in silence, a sense of dread and foreboding filling the air along side 'the odour'. When we got to my Mom and Dad's we pulled out the first Slider and slid it out of its protective cardboard sleeve. Gasp isn't quite the right word to describe what happened next. We stared incredulously at this.... this..... well, take a look:
Now bear in mind, I didn't take this picture, I pulled it from the web because frankly, I was too flabbergasted to think of grabbing my camera. Note the quarter used as a reference point to indicate the thin-ness of the 'beef'. This is not an exaggeration! The meat on the slider may as well have been deli-shaved ham or turkey it was so thin! Topped with an extra generous portion of ooey-gooey processed cheese, a solitary pickle and some onions, and nestled between two buns that dwarfed the 'beef', the Slider was simply astonishing.
Chris, Dave (my brother-in-law who foolishly agreed to go on the White Castle culinary adventure with us) and I exchanged glances. Taking a deep breath we each grabbed one and before anyone could chicken out we dug in.
They may as well call them two-bite Sliders because two bites is all that's needed to get one of those puppies down. And then the revulsion set in. I'm talking a gut-wrenching, bowel bending feeling of complete, and utter disgust. Then we realized we still had seven burgers left.
Dave threw in the towel immediately (the man puts hot sauce on absolutely everything that passes through his lips, but give him a slider and he immediately drops to the floor in the fetal position). But Chris and I were determined. We each choked down another, and then another. And then we cried mercy.
Yep, we couldn't actually stomach the thought of eating any more. So we took the remaining sliders, and.... tossed them in the trash - where they should have been all along.
Needless to say, Chris no longer has a fascination with White Castle.
But the story doesn't end there. Nope. I was at Sam's Club last week (trolling for free samples so I wouldn't have to make lunch for the kids) and passed by a frozen food case. I did a double-take, and slowly wheeled the cart backwards. This is what I saw:
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