Weapon of Ass Destruction

I have gone to great lengths to try to make this blog as 'poop' free as possible.  Meaning that I've tried not to talk about my children's potty habits, bowel movements, etc.

However...... exceptions must made.....

Today Marin was a bit crabby.  Nothing too bad, but she wasn't her usual chipper self.  She also hadn't pooped today (the foreshadowing is about as subtle as a brick through a window right?!?!) .  It was just after dinner, and Chris and Aidan had left for gymnastics.

I could hear 'grunting' from the family room, and when I looked over I saw Marin, red-faced from pushing, clearly doing her business.  Great - now she'll feel much better and be back to her usual happy self.  I gave her a couple of minutes and then went over to change her.

As soon as I approached I was hit by the smell.  I'm not even going to try to describe it because it's too revolting for words.  I mean men in Haz-Mat suits would have fled rather than inhale these noxious fumes!  Let's just be glad that smell o'vision isn't around yet. 

I picked Marin up and checked for leaks, saw none so I put her on her back on the carpet for a quick change.  I knew I was in for trouble when I pulled her pants off and felt 'something' on my hand.  I looked down, and poop was EVERYWHERE.

Assplosion....
    Crap-tastrophy.....
           Poop-tacular......

Those words don't even BEGIN to describe what I was experiencing.

I started screaming to Quinn:  "Quinn, get me a plastic bag quick - and get me Marin's change pad!!"

Quinn came running as fast as his little legs could go, but by the time he got to me with the change pad the poop had spread.  It was now up Marin's back, down both legs, on the Persian carpet (don't lecture me about changing a baby on a Persian carpet - I have learned my lesson well),  up my arm.... you get the picture.

But wait - it gets better!  Because Marin was so happy to be changed, she started kicking her legs!  I know, I know - it's like a train wreck; it's horrible yet you can't stop reading right?!?!?!  You guessed it, poop was now FLYING off her leg across the room.

Now I'm yelling:  "Shannon, get me another bag."  I needed something to put her clothes in.  Shannon comes running into the family room singing happily:  "Marin made a poop Mummy!"  Ah the innocence of children.......

After much swearing under my breath and half a pack of wipes later, I finally wiped the poop-child down,  cleaned the carpet as best I could, threw the clothes in the wash, lit a scented candle to cover the smell, and headed upstairs to give her a bath.

Sigh.... why does she always choose to make her biggest 'deposits' when Chris isn't here?!?!

Here's the little pooper post-bath and feeling MUUUUUCCCHHH better:

I mean seriously, how can you get mad at a face like that?!?!

Tomorrow we start potty training the little bugger.....